A Kiwi Facebook page that discusses the undesirable parts of our country has listed the rankest public toilets Aotearoa has to offer.
‘Shit Towns of New Zealand’ titled the post, which is actually an extract from a book they released, ‘NEW ZEALAND’S WORST TOILETS’. Six public toilets are so shit that they make the list, it’s not clear if whoever wrote it actually visited every toilet ranked, but I’ll take their word on it.
Wellsford, a small town north of Auckland, has the dis-honour of owning the worst public toilet in the country. Its stench, wall art, and all the waste left by users are the reasons it places at number one.
“Coated with wet and dry urine, adorned with graffiti on every square inch and stinking like a mix of marijuana and Rotorua,” the post reads. “It’s an insult to the senses.”
Number two belongs to the public toilets found on Symonds Street in Auckland’s CBD as they are apparently “the exclusive domain of junkies… with more P than pee.”
In the far north of New Zealand lies the town of Kawakawa, and their tourist attraction public toilet is the third worst shitter in the country. They were made by Austrian artist Friedensreich Hundertwasser and have even won awards for their creativity. Not from Shit Towns though.
“Kawakawa’s toilet is a garish mess of a building clad in crooked tiles, mismatched colours and gross grass growing out of its roof,” Shit Towns wrote.
Matakana’s toilets come in at number four and are apparently “as pretentious as its population”. The arty toilets contain two sculptured half-faces, from the top of the nose down. Quite extra for public toilets but I like it anyway.
The capital city’s Lobster Loos, some long tube-like toilets that look like lobster tails, are fifth on the list.
According to Shit Towns, they are “more reminiscent of sandworms from Dune, these despicable dunnies are undoubtedly New Zealand’s most terrifying toilets.”
At number six on the list, Shit Towns calls out Cambridge and Taupo for their ‘superloos’ which are pay-to-use, come on now.
They also mention the whole town of Huntly at #7 but you already know to avoid that place.
Those are the toilets to avoid if you trust the brains behind ‘Shit Towns of New Zealand’ - or maybe do the opposite and pay 'em a visit for shits and gigs (see what we did there?).