A Kiwi guy’s rant after finding out Countdown locks up corned beef is going viral and get this man a podcast.
It starts with the corned beef lover, who goes by @uncleman682 on TikTok, filming himself being escorted to the corned beef vault by a Countdown worker.
“It’s gotten to the point where you have to ask for corned beef at the checkout,” he whispers into his camera before letting the worker know today’s corned beef preference.
After that, the video cuts to Uncleman sitting in his car where starts what I think is safe to say the funniest ever rant (maybe only ever rant) about corned beef.
“The lady wouldn’t even trust me with the corned beef!” he starts. ‘She goes ‘where’s your shopping?’, ‘oh it’s over there, it’s right at the counter. She’s ringing me up right now.’
“She wouldn’t even trust to put the corned beef in my hand. She had to take the corned beef to the counter HERSELF - which was two metres away from where we were standing.”
“I don’t blame her. I’m not mad. I guess that’s just how things are now. People fkn stealing slabs and boxes of corned beef nowadays I guess. Shit, secure your bag. Man,” he continues before getting some jokes off.
“Corned beef - the most guarded thing in all of Countdown. Corned Beef and the Pacific Islander, the most untrustworthy combo apparently.”
“Ay remember the easy, the glorious days when you could casually, without pressure, walk into a Countdown, walk into an aisle, take your time and ponder which corned beef you want.”
“Do you want palm? Do you want Pacific? Do you want Hellaby? Do you want fat-free? Do you want halal?”
“Nowadays it’s: ‘What corned beef do you want? How many do you want?’ Pressure bro. So hard for the common folk coz of all these fkers stealing corned beef. Man, it’s hard to be common out here.”
What a guy. A corned beef connoisseur and hero of the common man.