'I am not broken': K'Lee gets super real about what she learnt from leaving a bad relationship
Own The Feels
Own The Feels

'I am not broken': K'Lee gets super real about what she learnt from leaving a bad relationship

This is the definition of a wāhine toa.
14 November 2023 1:07PM

Everyone deals with the tough stuff in life differently - and breakups are no exception. 

Something that's true for everyone, though, is that having a good korero about your feelings can really help. 

Not only do you get a chance to get things off your chest, chances are you might pick up some good advice or just be inspired by someone else who has had their heart broken and come back better than ever. 

We asked some of the Mai crew to think back to their past relationship breakups and how they dealt with them, and this is what our Queen K'Lee from Mai Days had to say. 

"Learning to be okay on my own after leaving a bad relationship with my whole life in two suitcases was hard. It took me a long time to build the courage to leave with my two kids. 

I decided that part of my life doesn't define who I am. 

 I am not broken, I am strong, and I am courageous.

Although it was a terrible time in my life, I don't have any regrets and I know that it has shaped me to be a stronger woman and to better prepare my own daughters in their futures.

Fast forward: I now have a beautiful family and know what a healthy, loving relationship is. 

Remember it is a choice - you have the choice to be in or out of your relationship - NO ONE should make you feel like you have to stay." 

Here are some of K'Lee biggest learnings when it comes to break ups:

  • Don't text back when you're angry, hit them with the 'seen'! Don't fuel the fire because it's better to not say hurtful things.
  • Keep yourself busy, if you're lonely or bored, you'll be wondering where they are, and your mind will create unnecessary scenarios.
  • Ask yourself these questions: If you're willing to do dumb stuff for this person, like bend your morals and values (e.g lying to your family and friends) are they really the right person for you to be in a relationship with? Are you mature enough to stand up for yourself? Is this a healthy relationship?
  • If you're in or know someone in an unhealthy relationship, It's not always easy to leave - when they decide to walk away, make sure they know they can come to you for help. Don't judge, and support them however you can. 
  • Always work on your own insecurities and mamae (hurt) before jumping into another relationship - you will carry that same hurt with you if you don't, and could end up hurting your new partner.

Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.

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