Let's run it straight - feeling brokenhearted SUCKS.
Whether you've had to make the call to end a relationship or you've been totally blindsided by an unexpected split, it can be really tough to navigate the feelings that come along with a broken heart.
I'm not ashamed to admit (actually I am a lil bit, but sharing with my whānau regardless, in solidarity) that in one very low break up moment, I once Googled 'celebrity break up advice'.
What I found was some surprisingly good words of wisdom, and more importantly, a reminder that going through heartbreak is an almost universal experience.
There was something super comforting about hearing these shiny superstars that the world idolises talking about being dumped or trying to get over someone. You are not alone!
Not only had these familiar faces been through it (all while in the public eye), but they had recovered from it, and more often than not, turned their pain into something that they learned from, or even made a hit song out of.
So without further ado, here's some straight up break up advice from some musical GOATS:
Back in 2017, Aunty RiRi dished out some solid advice to a fan who asked her via a Twitter DM: "How did you get over your first heartbreak? I've been struggling."
"Just believe that the heartbreak was a gift itself!" she replied in screenshots shared by the grateful fan.
"Cry if you have to, but it won't be forever!"
Rihanna also reassured the heartbroken soul that he would find love again and it would be "even more beautiful".
"In the meantime enjoy all that YOU are!!!!"
We all know Usher is the king of being in his feels musically, but in a recent interview with Vibe magazine, he opened up about the pain of being alone after a relationship IRL.
"I think the hardest thing that I've ever had to do was be single, because I don't like to be alone," he explained.
"The idea of creating a life with someone is what I would like to do, maybe because I didn't have or didn't see that. And I get to remedy that idea by having an incredible partnership. I can then have the thing that I ultimately wanted to see. You know what I'm saying?"
Usher said "healing took a lot", but that he was able to do some serious work on himself through therapy, and is now in a happy relationship with someone else.
"Maybe I was suffering a lot from not necessarily having the kind of love that I would've wanted as a kid. And wanting to figure out what that was all about.
"I didn't have that relationship that I would've wanted to have with my father. And that the relationship that I had with my mother was slowly beginning to be under pressure. Because one, we were working together. Two, we had our differences. Three, I was getting older, but I think it was just life lessons.
"The therapy really did help me be able to be by myself."
The late Mac Miller's break up with Ariana Grande was massive news when it went down in 2018, and even though it must have been hella frustrating to be constantly asked about it interviews, Mac had a great mindset when it came to dealing with it.
Asked by Zane Lowe what it was like seeing Ariana coupled up with Pete Davidson, Miller said: "It's strange. The whole thing is a little strange. But it's not negative."
"It's just a part of something that's gonna continue to help make me who I am," he added.
"It's all positive energy. I am happy for her moving forward with her life just as I'm sure she is with me."
Though he was reluctant to give up the details about exactly what went wrong in the relationship, Miller didn't shy away from the fact that it hadn't always been easy.
"Life is stressful. So, of course there were stressful times. It's not that unique," he said.
"I was in love with somebody. We were together for two years. We worked through good times, bad times, stress and everything else. And then it came to an end and we both moved on. And it's that simple, you know."
SZA knows a thing or two about heartbreak - in fact, her 2022 album 'SOS' is basically a step-by-step to the five stages of grief after losing a relationship. It's no surprise then that girl has got a poetic and beautiful take on break ups.
"The harshest truth about love is that it’s fleeting. It’s also forever," she said while talking about her album last year.
"It’s very interesting - like romance, those warm fuzzy feelings are fleeting. But those things are forever: the sense of safety, trusting someone you love, and wanting the best for them. So breathe, don’t hurt anyone - and sing about it."
Last but certainly not least, Ne-Yo spoke up about owning your feels in a break up when asked to give advice to an unlikely peer - Taylor Swift.
A TMZ reporter fronted up to Ne-Yo at an airport earlier this year after news broke of T-Swift's big split with Joe Alwyn, and the R&B star came back with some straight facts.
"Some of my best songs are about heartache and breakups and stuff like that," he said.
"That’s the beauty of being a songwriter. You don’t have to suffer through it as much because you can take that energy and turn it into something positive."
Now, I'm not saying we're all like Ne-Yo and can whip out a break up song just like that, but I am saying that the concept Ne-Yo is talking about can work in all parts of life.
Maybe you do get creative and write, draw or make something, or maybe you take that pain straight to the gym. Maybe you use your spare time to volunteer for a cause you care about or spend more time with whānau? The possibilities to "turn it into something positive" are endless. Chur Ne-Yo.
Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.
LoveBetter Youthline support channels:
- Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Or rangatahi can text lovebetter to 234