Gaz pens heartbreaking letter to Charlotte

During a very emotional interview with Heat magazine, Charlotte revealed that she recently suffered an ectopic pregnancy after falling pregnant with ex-boyfriend Gary Beadle.

She was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery while Gary was away filming Ex On The Beach and so she shared the below post and revealed that she felt Gaz had abandoned her...

Gaz has now responded in a heart breaking open letter, read below:

"Normally on a Tuesday night, I'm sitting on my phone, reading through Twitter, speaking to everyone about Geordie Shore. Not last night.

Instead, I sat down and decided to write about this whole me and Charlotte situation. It's time I broke my silence.

On the next episode of Geordie Shore, nobody will be able to say I wasn't ready to give things another go with her.

It was me who asked her to take the next step, and me who asked to start seeing her again.

On the big birthday, I knew I had a lot to prove and I went out my way. Next week you'll see that, out of the blue, Charlotte necks on with Marty McKenna.

While I'm struggling to understand it, for me, the reason is this; we were getting close to the girlfriend/boyfriend stage and, with our history and everything we have been through, this scared Charlotte (which I totally understand).

So, she went and got smashed and messed things up.

I just wish we talked more, because if she said she was afraid, we could've worked it out.

After the Marty thing, we didn't speak, but then kind of made up before leaving the house and I forgave her for tonguing one of my mates.

Charlotte then flew straight to Australia. We were messaging a lot, and I was due to fly out two weeks later. We honestly couldn't wait to see each other.

I remember the night we were reunited. It was amazing. And soon we were planning things around both our schedules so we could spend more time together.

Following an incredible few days, I thought once again me and Charlotte were seeing each other properly. Yet in radio interviews that followed, when asked what's happening with us, I would answer "yer, we're seeing each other" and Charlotte would be quick to say we weren't.

This doesn't address the pregnancy, but I'll get on to that in a minute. Just giving some background.

So, we carried on in Oz, kind of seeing each other, and then came home.

When we got back to the UK, we continued seeing each other and were really happy, back at Charlotte's house with her mam, but then, one morning when I thought things were going well, on the day the magazines come out, there were all these articles with Charlotte saying I wasn't The One and she couldn't trust me.

You'll have seen them. She was in them every week saying something about us. I actually turned to her in bed and asked if she was kidding, she just laughed it off.

For the headlines? You make your own mind up.

Then I went filming for another show. I'm not going to lie, I acted single because I was. Charlotte had made this quite clear, especially with all these articles coming out days before I flew.

I got back a few weeks later, and again, we started meeting up. This was before Ex On The Beach. We shot the Geordie Shore advert, and we were fine at this point.

It was then I remember Charlotte having cramp, but we didn't know why.

I stayed at hers the night before I flew out for EOTB and we talked. This is where one of us should have actually had the balls instead of pussy-footing around, and should have just said "let's get in a relationship", but for some reason which I don't know, we didn't.

Instead, it was "we'll see what happens when you get back". Whether this was a test, I don't know. I did say I wouldn't do anything abroad and speak when I returned to the UK. That is true.

Next day, we got the train to London and said goodbye. On that plane, my head was all over the place, but I thought I'd go with it and see what happens. After all, at the end of the day, we were both saying we were single.

I got to Thailand, which you'll all get to watch soon, and you'll see I did talk about the situation. The first night, I got smashed and ended up in bed with someone. I'm not going to deny that.

The next day, I was around the pool and got told I needed to take an emergency phone call. It was MTV saying that Charlotte had been rushed to hospital.

Straight away, I was like, 'I need to go home immediately.' I was told I could speak to Charlotte, which calmed me down.

Obviously, with her lying in bed back home, going through what I cannot even begin to imagine, I couldn't tell her what had just happened. My main concern was making sure she was okay.

I spoke to Charlotte and she said she was surviving with her mam and friends nearby, that I was under contract to continue filming, and she told me stay out there.

I made sure every day I could speak to Charlotte at a certain time, to check in on her, ask what the doctors where saying, and if she had made progress. I didn't even know what an ectopic pregnancy was.

We spoke every day until day six, when someone had told her about the first night, which I did not want to come out while I was over there. I wanted to tell her myself. Let's face it, I couldn't have kept it a secret. It was on camera.

On day seven, we had a massive argument on the phone. Charlotte thought I had found out about the pregnancy, then slept with someone. I hadn't. It was the day before I knew anything.

I know that doesn't make it any better, but I'm telling you the facts. After day one, over those next seven days, I didn't do anything.

We had this huge argument, with her saying "how could you?" and we were both screaming at each other.

I was like, "I am single, so are you. We should have made it official." She was saying we could have when I got back, but who knows? Would we ever have had that conversation on my return? Or would I have read about our status in the glossy mags?

After that call, I was told I couldn't speak to Charlotte and she made it quite clear that was the total end of us.

Over the previous few months, if we were meant to be together as a proper couple, we would have. But clearly, something stopped us.

I told the crew if anything got worse, I needed to go home, but the messages I was getting were that she was making good recovery. So, I continued to film as a single person, but not one day went past where I didn't ask about her.

I also discovered a few things on location which will all be revealed on screen for you to watch yourselves, but they confused me even more.

Also, remember that I had no phone, TV, mags anything while filming. I then finished shooting and head home again to a lot of press.

Both my management and Charlotte's agreed we wouldn't do any interviews or talk about this horrible situation. I hadn't planned to anyway.

I've never talked about Charlotte really, even when repeatedly asked to respond to things she's said about me. Until now.

Only a handful of my closest friends knew. At the end of the day, I was going to be a dad. We were going to be parents, then this happened. It's bloody awful. I am devastated for the both of us.

That is why, when I woke up yesterday to see it everywhere, I was shocked.

Rightly or wrongly, for me some things need to remain private. That may sound weird for someone who's had sex on TV, but that's the way it is.

I spoke to Charlotte when we got back and asked if she was okay. She said yes, that she was feeling a lot better, but that she doesn't think we should speak.

She said that I should do my own thing and she'll do hers, and we haven't spoke since. That's one of the reasons why it was a shock to see the article yesterday. I cancelled all my appointments and I had a launch to do with Scotty T and Aaron, but I just wanted to be on my own.

After five years of knowing Charlotte, I am devastated it's all ended like this. She's right, there's no coming back from it. I wish her all the best and hope she finds someone in the next chapter of her life. I'm sorry it ended the way it did.

Sorry this is so long-winded and confusing, but imagine all of this going on in your life and everybody having an opinion. Not always the right opinion. There are two sides to every story.

I know I'm no saint, but I hope this clears a few things up.

Gaz x"