Watching a mate go through a breakup can be pretty tough - you might feel helpless, awkward or just gutted at seeing them in pain.
The thing is though, you've gotta step up. A strong support network is one of the number one things your friend needs rn, and there's heaps of different ways to contribute to that… plus a few things you definitely DON'T wanna do.
Top Tips:
Show Up: Try not to ask vague questions like 'is there anything I can do?'. Your homie is probably struggling to think straight and might need you to take the reins. Grab their fave takeaways and some tissues and get round to their place, or suggest concrete plans, like going for a walk on Wednesday arvo.
Hear 'Em Out: Be an epic listener. Let your friend vent like they're a Kardashian doing an interview with producers. You don't have to have heaps of answers or advice, just be a shoulder to cry on.
Distraction, Distraction, Distraction: It's def important that your mate processes their feelings, but they'll also need a break from thinking about their split. Things like movie-marathons, gym seshes and cooking up a mean kai together can all help take their mind off things for a min.
Red Flags:
No Ex Trash Talk: I know how tempting it is, but try really hard not to talk shit about the ex. Focusing on the negatives isn't going to help anyone - we're looking for support, not revenge.
TMI: Don't push for details your ride or die isn't ready to talk about. Boundaries are key. At the same time, try to steer them away from totally oversharing stuff they might regret later. Let's keep it classy, people.
You Ain't Cupid: Don't even think about trying to set them up with someone new yet. They're probably trying to come to terms with the fact they're single now, let alone the idea of meeting someone new. While we're at it, avoid talking about 'single stuff' altogether. This is about your mate learning to love themself first and foremost.
Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.
LoveBetter Youthline support channels:
Email: lovebetter@youthline.co.nz
Or rangatahi can text lovebetter to 234
